THE DO’S AND DON’TS OF LOVE

Did you know that lonely people live shorter lives than people with healthy relationships? Scientists have learned that people with poor relationship skills are more likely to develop disease, less likely to achieve financial success and much more likely to be fired from their jobs. One study showed that even in technology fields, 15% of financial success is related to technical ability. 85% is determined by people skills. Building healthy relationships is one of the most important things we do in life.

The best way to build healthy relationships is to practice the do’s and don’ts of love found in 1 Corinthians 13.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails… (1 Cor 13:4-8a NIV)

First Corinthians 13 is showing us how to “Do Love.” In this post we'll look at the "do's" of love. In the next we'll examine the "don'ts."

LOVE IS PATIENT – Patience means long suffering. The Greek word translated “patient” here is Macro-Thumos meaning long tempered as opposed to short- fused. Patience is the acquired ability to suffer physical or emotional pain without complaining or striking back.

When you’re sick you’re “patient”:
• With your body while you feel bad.
• With the doctor when his treatments feel worse.
• With the insurance company, when they tell you how much they aren’t going to pay.

Patience comes when I recognize that I am not in control. I cannot guarantee the outcome by effort or will power. I may have an influence, but I do not have the ability to force a result. Patience is bearing with the painful things you can’t change.

The second “DO” in the “do’s and don’ts is:

LOVE IS KIND – The great theologian and sometime country singer Clint Black said this:
Love is certain love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn’t something that we find
It’s something that we do

We often think of love and kindness as feelings of compassion and tenderness. But love is more than feelings. Love, according to the Bible, is kind and kindness is something that we do. One of the best definitions of kindness is: Make one self useful.

The third ‘Do’ in the ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ of Love is:

DELIGHTS IN TRUTH - TRUTH is “the reality lying at the basis of an appearance; the manifested, veritable essence of a matter."

Truth is what is real as opposed to what is not real. It’s the genuine article as opposed to the fake. It’s sincerity as opposed to hypocrisy. It’s honesty as opposed to deceit.

We often become pretenders in our relationships because we fear what transparency might do. But delighting in the truth is taking the risk to share the real you.

Love is not something that we feel. It is some things that we do. It’s patience. It’s kindness, it’s taking a risk and sharing the real you. It’s’ the best Valentine gift that you can give any day of the week and any month of the year.